Nightmares/Pain

My daughter had a nightmare tonight. She's only 1. She's had some minor nightmares before but this one she woke up and screamed louder than she ever has screamed in her life. I almost started to cry because I felt scared for her. I wasn't scared, but I felt like I could relate very much to her fear.

It got me to thinking about how much pain we all go through in our lives. From the scrapes and bruises of learning to walk, then run, then ride a bike... to getting in a fist fight with someone at school or in your neighbourhood... to getting dumped for the first time, or the tenth time... life, no matter how rich or poor you are, healthy or not, still involves pain. A couple weeks back my wife broke her toe. That hurt a lot. I've been getting gallstone attacks. They hurt more than any physical pain I've felt before in my life.

I sort of wish I could make life "pain-free" for my daughter. Not to shelter her like a hermit, but I wish there was a way to go through life without actually getting hurt. I've been cut, burned, driven over, punched, kicked, elbowed, pinched... I've stepped on wild cacti... I've been kneed in the groin about 20-30 times in my life... I've broken bones and had sinus and ear infections.... If you think about all the opportunity for pain in your life, all the times you've avoided it, and just how many times you've been hurt, that's a lot of pain.

I hate seeing kids cry because they feel like losers. I hate it when people cry because they feel alone in the world. I hate it when you have to say goodbye to someone you love not knowing the next time you'll see them, or that it's likely you won't see them for a year. My stomache sinks when I see that because I've been there and I just want to tell them it'll be okay.

Yep, there's a lot of different types of pain and I wish I could prevent my daughter from going through half the pain I've gone through in my life. BUT. Does pain make you stronger? Does wanting to protect her only make her weaker in the end?

Of course, there's simple things like avoiding running with scissors, etc... but you can't avoid getting on a bike someday... or going skiing... or getting a papercut eventually...

I've been thinking of these painful experiences as rites of passage. This is life. Welcome to it. It's just weird to think that my daughter already had about 30-50 painful experiences this year and now that she can walk, it's becoming an every day occurance. Every stubbed toe or pinched finger is a learning experience and it's fun to watch in some ways, but when it really hurts, you just wish you could turn a switch and make the pain disappear.

Seeing her have that nightmare tonight hit me in a funny way. It was sort of cute even. But there's no way to explain to a 1 year old what a nightmare is, so all you can do is wait until they wake up enough to calm down...

I'm too tired now to edit this to make it concise, but my point is: I know you can't stop someone from going through the pain they're bound to go through in their life... I just sometimes wish I could.