My take on the Terrible Twos...

Alright, well my daughter is just turning two now, but for about 4-6 months or so she's been exhibiting behaviours that I can see as being what some call the terrible twos.

I think if you don't try to empathize with them, you'll have a tough time.

The main things to understand as far as I can tell is that they are "terrible" because #1 - they are frustrated.

They have a vocabulary that would surprise you, but they can't SAY what they THINK. If you put yourself in that position I think you'd be frustrated... which leads to the whining and crying.

#2 - They can't control their emotions. Since there is a big linguistic barrier, they revert to what they do know... crying for food. Crying for attention. Whining when you don't understand. Screaming when you say no... which leads to...

#3 - They are constantly testing boundaries. They don't know the rules. They don't understand the rules they do know. If they want something and you say no, their wiring doesn't accept it. This leads to more of #2.

I know that my daughter actually understands most of what people say. Her linguistic skills can't keep up with what she understands and wants to say herself. This has been the biggest source of her frustration.

She hates to say sorry, but we know she understands what sorry is because she has such a hard time saying it when every other 2 syllable word comes easily...

Lately if she's trying to say something and I don't understand, I've been asking her if she can try to use a different word to say what she wants... that has actually helped her frustration levels most of the time and usually me or her mom get what she's saying pretty quick. But if we're just not getting it, lookout!

That's where I think I'm the most masterful... the biggest "trick" parents need to understand with kids is the Art of Distraction. If the child is focused on one thing... frustrated, cranky, etc... usually there is something else you can train their minds on fairly quickly. Like if your child wants to put their hands in the boiling water, get them to help you stir something or make them feel useful; it tends to distract them from dangerous things if they know they're being helpful.

Just some little observations so far... not any kind of hard and fast rule, but things I think can help explain for the parent that simply sees the kids as actually Terrible...